One of the common feelings that all of us share is that of regret. We feel regret when we say somethings in the heat of the moment or do something wrong under the influence of emotions. We do things without even thinking. But later we realize what we have done, we may have hurt the other person, we may have damaged the relationship, we may have damaged ourselves. Going through a regret is not easy. You carry an uncomfortable mixture of feelings for days, sometimes months. You are sad. You are angry at yourself. You feel responsible for all the damages. You feel alone because others too are pointing at you. You feel guilt. Sometimes you want to go back into the time and do the correct thing but that’s not possible. But it is possible to do the correct thing now. Here are certain things to keep in mind before we go through the process

1. REGRETS ARE GOOD THINGS. Even though regrets are quite uncomfortable they provide an opportunity for you to understand yourself better. For instance you lost your temper and shouted at your kid for an insignificant mistake. You feel bad because it was wrong. But you feel regret when it was wrong according to you. Now you have understood deep down your conscious does not approve of this behaviour. You are more aware of yourself now. Regrets thus bring you closer to you.
2. THEY PROVIDE OPPORTUNITY FOR SELF DEVELOPMENT. Regrets make you more determined to not repeat the mistake. Once you are aware of certain behaviour of yourself which is not approved by your conscience, you feel the drive to change the behaviour. In that process you are bound to become a better person.

But what to do when you are going through the turbulent, uncomfortable, painful feeling? Here are some steps, if followed diligently, will help you overcome your regrets. I guarantee !!

1. FORGIVE YOURSELF. The most important thing is to forgive yourself first. Its okay that you made a mistake. You are best because you accepted the mistake and you are ready to work on it. You may be surrounded by people who are pointing at you at all times, reminding you of your mistake through their gestures, through their words but you have to remain gentle towards yourself. Keep reminding yourself that its okay to make a mistake.
2. FACE THE REGRET. You may be inclined to find an escape route. You may want to indulge yourself in alcohol, drugs, movies, work etc so that you do not have to remember the regret. It may give you short term relief but sooner you will have even bigger pile of regrets. You will always have the negative feeling inside you which may impact your health badly. Always face the feeling.
3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Take full responsibility of your mistake without any excuse. You must say sorry. You cannot put blame for your behaviour on somebody else’s words/actions, circumstances, weather, fight with your boss, spouse whatever. It was your act and you are responsible for your actions.
4. WRITE DOWN YOUR FEELINGS. You may be going through various feelings. Pen them down. Pen down the specific reasons for those feelings. Pen down your thoughts too.
5. KEEP A WATCH ON YOUR THOUGHTS. Its easy to accept hopelessness, sadness. Make sure you do not think bad about yourself or other person. Become aware of your thoughts. If you have sad thoughts, replace them with good thoughts. Think about the things that you are grateful for. Think about the ways in which you can improve yourself. Read books which will help you in your development. Pat yourself on your progress.
6. STEPS FOR IMPROVING YOURSELF. Once you are aware of the areas which needs to be worked, chart a plan to improve those areas. Write down steps which you will follow to improve yourself. Read the list everyday so that you wire your mind to behave in different way now.

Regrets are integral part of living. You will go through regrets a lot more times than you would like. But they are necessary for your development. Do not forget to be gentle towards yourself and towards others. In the end you will become a better person.

With lots of love, supergirl.d.

You met a person, you liked him, he liked you, you people entered into a relationship and he dumped you after 4/5/6/7 years. Its a pretty common story if you ask me. We girls don’t seem to realize that he is the wrong guy only after until 2 years. Normally after 2 years we begin to question our love, to be more precise his love. Why do we take 2 or more years or we never realise that he is the wrong guy until he dumps us? I think its because we were never taught, either in school or by parents to understand what characters does wrong guy show. Honestly, for most of us bollywood has been our mentor. And in bollywood a boy who eve teases you, who has sexist attitude, who goes for hook ups, who doesn’t treat the girl well is the right guy. But in real life these are the wrong guys. Following the footprints of bollywood we end up with wrong guys. So I have listed few characters to look for in the guys in the first 6 months and find out whether they are actually right or not

1. If this guy doesn’t seem to pay attention to what you are saying and as soon as you are done saying he starts a completely new topic out of the blue which boasts about him. The topic you wanted to talk about is lost forever. Generally you will be able to find out this trait in a week if you talk everyday.
2. You are not in a relationship yet but this guy behaves like you people are in relationship in front of others. He is a show off guy. He is pretty useless but he shows off. Don’t just dump this guy, block him from everywhere.
3. The guy who can’t stop talking about money in one way or the other. He will keep mentioning his business profit, things he bought, his next investment etc. Dump him otherwise in 2 years you will realize that your love life is a business plan.
4. The guy who makes you wait for more than half an hour. You are meeting this guy every day or every week and half of the time you find yourself waiting for him. The truth is he is just not excited to be with you. In fact he is late probably because he is thinking of excuses. We girls are late because of the make up. But boys have no reasons as such. So dump him if he keeps you waiting.
5. The one who says he is not looking for anything serious. Now you would say that you are also not looking for anything serious. But my dear, if this guy is not serious about you he will not treat you as you should be treated. Plus, while you are with him, you have probably already lost your serious marriage guy. Love is anyways difficult to find and you will be loosing your chances of finding love.
6. Dump the guy immediately who says I am serious but we cannot marry because of family, religion blah blah blah. In other words he is saying “i want you to comfort me, love me, spend time with me and in return i will never be with you forever”. Again if you are with this guy consider the fact that you lost the guy who would say ” I will love you forever, I will stand by you forever, I am here for you forever”. Please do not loose your forever Prince for some temporary selfish guy.
7. The guy who always asks you to visit him at a place which is nearer to his place. If you are doing this yourself for security purpose then its okay. But every time you guys are meeting and he asks you to come to a place which is comfortable for him only, just leave this guy. Because he is never going to walk the extra mile for you. Dump him because there are boys who are ready to fly a different country for you meanwhile this crap can’t even come to a place which is comfortable for you.
8. Dump the guy who comes to meet you for just 1 hour. He may have his reasons family, work, etc. Ask yourself “Do I deserve this little time and attention only?”. If you think you deserve only an hour you lost the guy who is ready to give you his lifetime.
9. The guy who pays attention to other things or people when he is with you. You are at a restaurant with this guy and his eyes are glued to television there or he is constantly checking his mobile or he is looking at other girls passing by. This is a great guy but soon you will find out that you want to have a serious conversation and his eyes are glued to television. That you are sitting there bored and he is playing PUBG on his mobile. Ultimately you will realize that he doesn’t care about how you feel.
10. The guy who doesn’t invest in you or he invests very less in you. I believe that relationships are like plants and you have to water them everyday. The guy who would love you would not mind putting effort everyday because he doesn’t want the relationship to die. And if he is not putting effort everyday its because he doesn’t see you worthy enough. Have self respect girl, dump him right away.
11. The guy who doesn’t befriend your folks. The man who loves would make efforts to form a connection with your family members, he would become good friends with your best friends. The wrong guy will find excuses to never meet your family members. If he does meet he will be restless, irritated, he will find excuses to get out of it. He will be bored around your friends. He will avoid every situation to meet your people. My girl would you like to be with this guy who behaves badly with people who are important, probably most important, to you.
12. The guy who is flaky. By flaky I mean that you gave him some small work and he did not finish it or he took on some task himself and he did not finish it. I dumped the guy who forgot to get my umbrella despite telling him several times that umbrella is important for me. His act showed that he doesn’t care about the things which are important for me.If the guy doesn’t care about what is important to you then the guy is not important to you. This does not mean that he should do all the trivial works of yours but he must have an idea what is important for you. If you are with a guy who always has excuses but no results, dump him happily girl.
13. The guy who insists you to come to his place always. He may ask you to come and watch movie at his place or you have planned to go outside somewhere but he asked you to come to his place first. He is cheap – money cheap and character cheap. Remember your time is not cheap to be wasted on cheap people.
14. If the guy is serious then in 3 months time or less he would introduce you to his friends and family. I am not saying that he would introduce you as his going-to-be-wife. But all who are important to him will know your place in his life. This holds true in India as well. To my Indian girlfriends, if your boy friend has not introduced you to his family in 6 months time, he is not serious about you and he will dump you the moment his parents will find someone else.
15. The guy who only wants to have sex. Now there is no clear black and white opinion on this. If you too want only sex then go for it. But always remember that he is not The Guy. So make it plain sex and no investment at all from your side. That means no texting, no calling, no need to tell him if you are with another guy, not making plans with him. And most importantly having sex only when you want it.
16. The one word answer guy. So this guy says he loves you but doesn’t talk to you much, doesn’t share things with you. If you look at the message chat with him you will find out that his replies are one word reply or one sentence reply while your messages are like a paragraph. He has no interest in you. Dump him.
17. The guy who keeps you hungry. So you stayed the night at his place and there is nothing to eat in the morning. Its evening and you have eaten nothing since morning. It simply means he doesn’t feel responsible towards you. If a man loves you he will never keep you hungry.
18. The guy who lies. He may lie about small things or big things. The point is if he is lying in a serious relationship, its a serious problem. Think about the future and leave him.
19. Dump the useless guy. This guy has finished his studies and instead for looking for jobs or working on career, he is watching tv, playing video games, eating , sleeping the whole day. He is thinking of living off of your salary. Dump this leech.
20. Dump the never happy guy. So this guy is never happy with anyone. He is the crier. He cries about politics, about relatives, about weather, about neighbor and finally about you. Oh! and when there is nothing he will cry for no reason but he will cry for sure. After 2 years you are going to dump him for crying so dump him now.
21. The Drama guy. This guy has the ability to convert a normal thing into huge drama. If you just called a cute puppy as “baby” he will make an issue out it. “How can you call the dog as baby when you call me baby. Do not ever call me ‘baby’ now.” And this drama guy is serious when he is creating all the drama. Sooner rather than later he will be the only source of your constant headache. Dump him.
22. The ewww touch guy. This guy never misses an opportunity to touch you inappropriately, especially in public. Instead of holding hands, he is grasping your ass. Instead of a warm friendly hug, he is hugging you tightly just to feel your boobs. Sex is in his mind always. He can go to any extent for the sex. Forget dumping, run, run run away from this man, run as fast you can.
23. This is a very personal opinion and you may disagree. Dump the guy if he is not settled in his life. Generally it is found that the moment the guys get a job or their business becomes successful they go for more advantageous and profitable life partners and dump their existing partners. But this is a personal opinion and I am sure there are cases otherwise. But I can say this scenario holds true in Indian cases.

This is not an exhaustive list. I will keep adding more to it. If you know other traits of wrong guys please leave in the comment below and save other girls from falling in the trap. Till then take care and be happy!!